I have not arrived at the self-acceptance you have in asking this question, but I am perpetually haunted by the same question, and this piece resonated with me.
For me, it’s not concern with my feeling “good” with my position; rather, it’s my obsessive need to know I’m doing my duty and fulfilling whatever reason I was put here for.
Yes, this opens doors to much existential questioning, and the most common answer in this nihilistic age is “you weren’t put here for nothing so just groove on it baby.”
Well, others can answer however they choose, but I choose to not accept such an answer.
Anyway, don’t mean to ramble on…your post got me thinking about things.
Thanks for the read.