Ecem, I’m now trapped in a weird position, because I promised I’d give you all my thoughts, but now I’m afraid I’m thinking too much!
First off, I love the story of a scarred woman wandering lonely through an old hotel. I think that’s really cool. This works well as a sort of horror vignette. I thought the description was great, because it wasn’t over-the-top. I’ve always thought the best horror was the subtle variety.
The one place where I felt you missed was the beginning.
This is just my impressions as a reader…but when you said it was renovated into a highly luxurious hotel, I said, “WHY?!?!”
Seeing as how it’s a horror story, I thought it would have served the tale better if you started with a detailed description of a the eerie old hotel…historically important and beautiful in its way, but with that air of creepiness that infuses all ancient things.
A lot of people today say that stories should always open with the character taking action…I personally dont’ agree with that. I love when stories open with a great, detailed description of the environment, and I think this story would have benefited from that.
Perhaps one wing could be newer than the others. Why? Because it had to refurbished after a fire many years ago…that would be a cool to stick in there.
But, just ideas…I love the horror genre, and the way i see it, both in cinema and literature, setting a foreboding environment is key. While I don’t think it comes even close to ruining the story, I felt like it’s a missed opportunity to open by telling us about a nice hotel instead of showing us some eerie old place….the kind of place we imagine would be filled with ghosts.
So, just my thoughts…like I said, I may have overthought it. Wouldn’t be the first time. Overthinking is what I do :)
And when someone asks me for honest feedback, I take it seriously.